SWAMI JIMBO GIFT DRIVE
Copyright © 1993, 1997 by Jim
(Please cite the author if you
quote from this work)
Swami Jimbo Ashram
December 2, 1993
Mr. Suzanne Whull
Dear Mr. Whull:
Once again it's time to ponder the holiday
gift-buying problem. Yet why think of it as a problem when Sri Swami
Suchabanana Rama Jimbo Propaganda takes the worry out of shopping
with his exclusive mail-order wish list?
Our records indicate that, thanks to your
generosity, Mr. Whull, Swami is now able to access advanced computer
technology that will improve and simplify his efforts on behalf of
humanity. But Swami now realizes that there are one or two electronic
toys --er, marvels that would ease even further the burdens of
communicating with his legions of followers. Those items top Swami
Jimbo's wish list this year.
As you read through the following, consider
carefully how each suggestion represents an opportunity for you to
contribute lovingly to others (especially Swami). Don't forget also
that you receive karmic "brownie points" every time you contribute.
This should help speed your own journey through the wilderness of
Without further ado, here are the
suggestions, featuring the patented mail-order wish list :
- CD-ROM. This technical marvel attaches to
any Macintosh computer and increases the storage/retrieval
capacity four hundred-fold!! Swami wishes to peruse the many CDs
available that contain innumerable articles, books, illustrations
and sound bites on a large number of topics. This will help Swami
increase his knowledge of the physical plane of existence, which
in turn will enable him to more fully assist others in their
searches for contentment. Of course, your gift would also be
available to the person from whom Swami borrows the computer he
currently uses. No doubt that person would benefit as well from
the many CDs available on such diverse topics as history, culture,
feminism, etc. $300 and up.
- FAX COPIER. The latest in technology,
this machine would help Swami communicate with his devotees and
copy documents of interest. More and more of his disciples own fax
machines: instant transmittal of papers would come in quite handy,
while the copy function would enable Swami to reproduce articles
he would like to retain for his own files. Very useful! $250 and
- FROM THE BIG BANG TO PLANET X: The 50
Most-Asked Questions About the Universe . . . and Their
Answers, by Terence Dickinson. Part of Swami's continuing
- "ROAD CONSTRUCTION AHEAD." A children's
video about building highways; also suitable for adults. First of
a new series of popular educational videos. Appeals to the kid in
Swami. Focus Video (1-800-843-3686). $20.
- CHIEF JOSEPH ROBE BLANKET. Swami needs to
keep warm on chilly nights. Color choice: blue. Eddy Bauer
catalog, p. 64, $150.
- LAMINATED CALIFORNIA MAP. A Raven map.
Accurate, colorful, informative. Real Goods catalog, p. 9,
- BRIGHT EYES HANDS-FREE FLASHLIGHT. Swami
can do fix-it at night! Real Goods catalog, p. 31,
- POCKET SURVIVAL TOOL. Looks pretty useful
to Swami! Real Goods catalog, p. 31, $45.
- SOLAR CAR VENTILATOR. Attaches to window,
keeps Swami's car cool when parked in the sun. Helps Swami to stay
collected and meditative, rather than hot and bothered.
Hard-to-Find Tools catalog, p. 24, $40.
- AUTO SEAT CUSHION. Swami's driver seat is
getting worn out; here's one way to protect what's left of the
fabric and give lumbar support to the Bodhisattva's back.
Hard-to-Find Tools catalog, blue, p. 25, $45.
- POCKET WRENCH. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $10.
- SIX-BIT SCREWDRIVER. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $12.50.
- 6-IN-1 WONDER TOOL. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $15.
- MULTI-TOOL HAMMER/SCREWDRIVER.
Hard-to-Find catalog, p. 51, $10.
- FLYING TIGER LEATHER JACKET. Swami loves
his black leather jacket, but if he had his druthers, he'd own a
brown fighter-pilot jacket, too! Tall, insulated, brown, weathered
or original style. L.L. Bean catalog, p. 69,
- BEADED BELT. Swami hasn't had one of
these since he was a kid! And he sure needs extra belts to hold up
his pants, being as how he's so skinny and all ...... Specify size
34. L.L. Bean catalog, p. 91, $34.
- PRESIDENTIAL ROCKING CHAIR. Swami is
eternal, of course, but his body is temporary, and as it ages it
enjoys the simple comforts of life, like this lovely rocker.
L.L. Bean catalog, p. 240, $225 plus $30 shipping.
- BEAVER STATE BLANKET. Pretty! Perhaps an
alternative to the Chief Joseph blanket mentioned above, it's in
the L.L. Bean catalog, p. 244, $140.
- A LOT OF MONEY. Sri Swami Jimbo is
wealthy in bliss and enlightenment. However, while he visits this
level of reality immediately beneath the Astral plane, he must
deal with practicalities. Therefore, generous contributions to the
Swami Jimbo Ashram, Dude Ranch, Fat Farm and Auto Retread Tire
Center are always greatly appreciated! Remember: the money you
give will return to you many-fold in the form of good
. . . As you can see, there are so many ways
to contribute to the Ashram, choices for every taste and pocketbook!
This is by no means an exhaustive list of Swami's needs. Heavens, no!
But these are the most important that come to Swami's mind as the
season of good cheer approaches. On Christmas Day, Swami looks
forward to finding something from you under the tree!
Meanwhile, may the peace of the season be
upon you and yours, and may all your instant karma be
Ma Anand Foofoo,
Secretary to S. S. Jimbo
4 catalogs enclosed and bookmarked
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